I am painted Red.

I have been so astounded by God's grace lately. Just think about it. Grace...that shouldn't even be something we can grasp or be able to even step near, yet if you are a child of God, you are covered in it. Covered. And to be covered in it absolutely blows my mind.

I am a sinner. A wretch, completely human. I sin every day, I have hurt people that I love so much, I have made so many mistakes, and continue to make them. Some days I think I am nothing. Yet Jesus changed all that when he shed for me. He took all of my crap, my junk, upon Himself and told me I am worthy. What the heck??? Seriously? I can't even fathom it. Why would someone so perfect want to do that for me? He tells me that He has forgotten my sin, it is no more. So I shouldn't hold onto my past and what I have done. I have to move on and know that I am forgiven. And that I am forgiven for what I will continue to do from here on out. As long as I have a repentant heart.

I hate what I have done in my past. I hate my mistakes. But how can I move on with life if I just keep it with me, remembering it? He paid the price so I didn't have to. I will continue to fail at things because I am human...I might fail at relationships, or goals I set for myself. But He will always have grace for me. He will always be merciful. He will teach me through what I have done wrong. And since I have that grace in me, I will want to do better. When I see obvious sin, I want to rebuke it! I hate Satan and all that he is about. I hate how he tears peoples' lives apart. I absolutely hate it. But he is sneaky, and can enter something into your life without you even realizing it. And that is when we have to rely on God's strength tremendously with every ounce of our being. He will see us through, He will provide. Just think of the times in your life that He already has.

I am closer to God right now than I have been in a very long time. And I couldn't have gotten here without trusting Him. Without seeking and pursuing Him. I saw the other option and I ran the opposite way with all of my strength towards Him. Because I want Him, nothing else. He has renewed my strength and made me do things I never thought possible. I never thought I could do some of the things I have, and I haven't. Not on my own anyway...only through Him. I look back and think, how did I just do that? If you aren't close to God, and you know it, make yourself seek Him. Even if you don't feel like it, or you are so wrapped up in sin. You know what to do. Just do it. I'm not saying it's going to be easy...it will take a lot of work and probably a lot of tears. You might read His Word every day for a while and not feel anything. But trust in His timing, He'll speak to you when He's ready. Go after Him. He will see you through.

For you Christians reading, you know all of this. This isn't anything new to you. But I guess that wasn't my purpose for this blog...to write something new. This is just a Christian's heart at the moment. I hope reading this reminded you of God's grace in your life. Just wanted to share how He's shown grace to me :)



"If I could not hold a pen
I would write of You on my heart instead.
You have bought me with Your blood
And I am painted red by Your love.

If I could not say a word
My life would speak of Love I don't deserve.
Hope means holding on to You
Grace means You're holding me too..."

"Painted Red"-JJ Heller